Don't Eat the Couch

Do you ever find yourself saying inane things to your pet? Bertie seems to have a liking for stuffing - the pillow kind, not turkey-related. On one end of the couch the upholstery has been ripped open by various cats sharpening their claws and a little stuffing peeks through. Every now and then I catch Bertie licking it. And I end up yelling, “Don’t eat the couch!” It goes along with: “Don’t chew on the chair,” “Don’t swallow the yarn,” and a generic “No biting!”

I think commands to animals need to be short and to the point. I caught my sister trying to reason with her cat. As Rascal was sharpening her claws on the side of the chair, in a conversational tone, Rose said, “We don’t do that on Mommy’s chair.” Needless to say, Rascal did not stop. I suggested she try, “No!” or even “Stop!” I didn’t think a full sentence would do the job.

Bertie is a chewer. She rips apart any cardboard she can get her teeth on, leaving sheds all over the floor. She likes to chew on sticks in the kindling pile. And she had started trying to tear apart the blue rocker in the picture above.

I bought her some chew toys that were made for dogs which she disdainfully batted under the refrigerator. It isn't easy being the servant of a cat.

 

Bertie, Queen of Socks, guards my clean laundry. She's quite possessive. I can't put them away until she tires of them, or abandons her post to go bite something.